Alright, so the Dow's bouncing because the Supreme Court might be having second thoughts about Trump's tariffs. Color me skeptical. We're talking about the Supreme Court here.
The "Hope" Rally
Apparently, the market's all giddy because some justices asked tough questions about whether Trump had the authority to slap those tariffs on everyone and their grandma. Ford, GM, Caterpillar – they all popped. Prediction markets are even less confident Trump will win this one. Oh goody. Dow rises 300 points after Supreme Court doubts Trump tariff argument and AI trade recovers: Live updates
But let's be real. This is Wall Street we're talking about. They'll find any excuse to pump stocks. It's like a toddler who finds a shiny object, completely forgetting they were crying five seconds ago. The article quotes some strategist, Phil Blancato, saying we won't know the real tariff effects until next year. Give me a break. We already know the tariffs are a drag.
And the AI trade? Up one day, down the next. Palantir getting smacked down because it's trading at 200 times forward earnings? No kidding! Super Micro Devices and Arista Networks getting a reality check too. This whole AI thing feels like tulip mania 2.0. How many times do we have to see this play out?
The Fed's Shadow
Then there's the economy. Strong ADP numbers, strong ISM services. Great! Except that means yields are going up, which throws a wrench in the "three Fed rate cuts by December" fantasy. We're in this "odd period" where the market can't go much higher, but a "significant correction" isn't coming either. So, basically, we're stuck in limbo, waiting for the next black swan event.
And let's not forget the Supreme Court. Even if they do smack down the tariffs, what's to stop the next president from doing the same thing? This isn't about the law; it's about power.
Speaking of power, I still can't believe how much the price of a freaking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book (keyword: teenage mutant ninja turtles) has exploded in recent years. I mean, seriously?
I mean, I'm all for nostalgia, but it's getting out of hand.
The Illusion of Control
The article mentions Justice Roberts saying tariffs are essentially taxes on Americans, which is Congress's job. And Justice Gorsuch suggesting a future president could tariff gas-powered cars to fight climate change. Okay, that's actually kind of a funny thought...but it also terrifying.
Here's the real kicker: We're all sitting here, hanging on every word from the Supreme Court, as if they're some kind of oracle. But are they? They're just nine people in robes, making decisions that affect the entire country. And they're not exactly known for their consistency or their understanding of the real world.
So, What's the Point of Even Trying?
This whole thing is a joke. The market's a joke, the Supreme Court's a joke, and the idea that any of this is actually under control is the biggest joke of all.
